• Tyffany Howard

Live the life you are meant to live!

Forest Trees

Is there anything that you need to let go of so that you can live the life you are meant to live? Do you have any grievances, hurt, resentment, shame or anger that you won’t let go? And you won’t let it go because it has become a comfortable story for you, you think that forgiving that person means that they did nothing wrong, or you’re afraid of the unknown. Letting it go is for you. When you let it go, you are free of all that icky stuff that weighs down your spirit, mind and body. The great news is that you don’t have to wait until some magical time to let it go.

I almost gave up my dream of traveling around the world teaching women how to empower themselves. What was standing in the way of my dream? Me and my story! I didn’t want to let go of the shame, guilt and the martyr badge that I wore. I felt shame and guilt because I didn’t think that I deserved to live a great life, to do great things and to be great. I was ashamed and felt guilty about having three houses, driving a luxury car, making $200 an hour, traveling around the world, and having a housekeeper. I created one story to make sense of the first story. I told myself that I didn’t deserve to live well and be abundant. Because of that shame and guilt, my lower self decided that I needed to be punished. The only way that my ego could think of to punish me was to make me poor, to have me lose everything. My lower self almost won. My car was almost repossessed. I had to go to court to fight the eviction. Two local churches paid my utility bills for me and gave me money for food. I lost my voice two times.

My mama and sister had to feed me, cloth me and pay my bills. By being poor, I could be a martyr. For me, it meant that I would fit in with the masses and not be visible. More than that, my mind convinced me that being poor meant that I was now good enough. The Divine and my soul are stronger than my lower self, my mind, and my ego. I realized that being poor was no fun. I realized that I couldn’t travel around the world sharing my message of love without the funds to do. More than anything else, I realized that the darkness that I created transformed into light when I began to love myself.

How did the transformation occur? Tapping! I tapped on the emotional pain. Tapping also known as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Tapping or Meridian Tapping is a simple self-help tool that is used to reduce or relieve emotional and physical pain. It’s a combination of Chinese acupressure and emotional therapy. You tap on the endpoints of meridian lines located on the surface of your body as you state how you feel about an experience, illness, physical injury, person, etc. Tapping is used world wide to reduce or relieve stress, PTSD, help with weight loss, anxiety, physical pain and more. After tapping, I was able to process my shame, guilt and martyr complex.

How long have you been holding yourself back because you are hanging onto hurt, shame, grievances, pain, etc? Maybe, it’s the ex-husband that left you for another woman or the family member who told you that you would never amount to anything. Whatever your story is, you must to let it go. Also, is it possible that you haven’t let it go because you falsely believe that holding onto the grievance, hurt, etc. benefits you? How does hanging onto your pain and hurt benefit you? I know this song and dance very well so listen up. When we hang onto all the hurt, we get to blame others and forever be the victim. That person is blamed for us not wanting to love again, not pursuing our dreams, not trusting anyone, or not living life.

My shame, guilt and martyr complex turned into a story about me being a victim and getting my need for attention met. Does this feel, sound or seem familiar? Every time I shared my story, someone would say, "I’m so sorry that happened to you." I would get some attention in the form of sympathy. The attention was the benefit and I didn’t want to let it go because I was also dealing with my issues of being unlovable, not enough and unworthy. Now that my soul is operating from a higher level of consciousness and I learned to love myself, I don’t need unhealthy attention. I am living the life that I have come here to live. And, you can you do the same.

So are you ready to be free of the grievances, hurt, disappointment, etc. that you have been carrying around like baggage? If so, let it go now. I know that it is difficult but let it go, forgive that other person or yourself and live the life you have come here to live.

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